Work stress and dealing with verbal and emotional abuse are not new to the hospitality industry. Even in the unorganised sector, housemaids, drivers, waiters, and even children are employed at low salaries and deal with inhumane working conditions. I condemn exploitation and toxicity, but understand it from a different context and perspective.
Corporations exploiting children, naive villagers, the illiterate, and the undereducated is deplorable – they are literally unarmed. The government, NGOs, and unions must intervene. However, how can the urban educated, upwardly mobile, tech-savvy and networked young individuals living in a rapidly growing capitalist economy like India be exploited? In rare cases, it may happen but it can’t reach epidemic proportions. Unless people allow themselves to be exploited and then blame others.
If the so-called ‘exploited’ resist and communicate their challenges to the right person in the right way at the right time, things can be sorted out. If not, just resign. Why bear with and encourage exploitative practices and a toxic culture? There is no neutral; you are part of the solution OR you are part of the problem.
“And if it is a despot you would dethrone, see first that his throne erected within you is destroyed. For how can a tyrant rule the free and the proud?” Khalil Gibran.
It is your own erroneous beliefs that compromise your position and make you suffer the consequences.
Erroneous Belief: This company is the holy grail and guarantees career nirvana.
Realty: The company is just one factor contributing to your career. Other factors: attitude, integrity, intellect, emotional quotient, strategic communication, work ethics, values… Examples of successful folks who quit high-paying jobs in conglomerates to script their success stories abound.
Erroneous Belief: I can’t blow the whistle on my bullying boss or the toxic work culture, as they’ll make my life unbearable.
Reality: By not protesting, you are encouraging the behaviour to get worse. However, if you play it right, you would be recognised as a gutsy changemaker. Someone who can drive organization-wide changes. However, even if the organization does let you go, you can’t be so incompetent that no other organization will pick you up, right?
Erroneous Belief: I’ve got this job that many aspire for.
Reality: Maybe they do and maybe they don’t—what difference does it make if it’s not suiting you? Move on. Find something that does suit you. Because if you continue in frustration, it will definitely affect your health.
Erroneous Belief: Contradicting or complaining about seniors is disrespectful.
Reality: Seniors, juniors, peers, or even family and friends need to know where to draw the line and give you space. Assert yourself, create boundaries, and if they feel disrespected, so be it.
Erroneous Belief: All organizations have the same politics, nasty bosses, horrible work ethics…
Reality: Maybe it’s just you. Introspect and ask for opinions. Listen to understand (what’s wrong with you) and don’t defend. Maybe you are incompetent, selfish, shirk work, grumble, lie, are oversensitive and disillusioned. Your co-workers
are afraid of the backlash or of hurting you.
Having said that, people in general, and youngsters, in particular, need to…
Develop resilience, as no matter who you are, you will fail. The idea is to not stay down for too long. Also, don’t expect others to pick you up. Particularly after a bad day, don’t skip work; it makes things worse. Wake up, dress up, and show up—that’s half the battle won.
Develop empathy. Others too are under pressure. The so-called ‘bullies’ are also dealing with their doubts, insecurities, and stress and are under pressure to perform. Every boss has his own boss.
Lose your sense of entitlement. The world doesn’t owe you anything. Your parents, friends, and teachers may speak with love and respect, but everyone doesn’t have to. Others more deserving than you have much less.
Know your self-worth and get the right definition of self-respect. Self-respect is the respect you have for yourself. It’s not the way others treat you. It is your opinion of you. Others may attempt to insult or humiliate you; that’s up to them. You ensure that their opinion of you matters a lot less than your own opinion of yourself.
Get real. No matter your fancy degrees, you only have information. Information, when practically applied, becomes knowledge (half-baked). Information applied several times becomes practical knowledge. But for now, you lack knowledge and skills, and your efficiency will be low; hence you will feel overworked. Your family (parents, in particular) will always feel you are the most brilliant person on earth, but get real—to the world you aren’t. You have a long way to go—do, learn, practice, grow, repeat.
Dominic CostaBir, Director of Hospitality Training Institute (HTI) and Woosh Biz, is a first-generation entrepreneur. A passionate hospitality veteran with 30+ years of experience, in ‘Third Eye’, he provides a perspective beyond plain sight.
